Saturday, October 16, 2010

Legalese: The Case for Babelian Towers

What is a human being?
     ~ AnonymousThe People

Most of us would agree that the English languege is the most expressive and most adaptive language known to human kind. Though we here at Jesus Christ Unlimited agree, our skeptical approach to reality urges us to question English as the undoubted universal language.

This week, in light of the increase in reports of human paranormal sexuality linked to illegal chop suey, analysts, editors and artists of JCU ponder:

Why is English the Language of the world?

After seven years, six months, 35 days, and four hours of research and introspection JCU associates have found a man who puts the Situation of the modern Westward-oriented human being into greater, grandiose context: (Sir) John Harris.

The video below lays out his theory. It's bit over 30 minutes, so be sure you are hydrated, relieved and comfortable before watching. And now, without further waste of your time, JCU presents:

John Harris argues the case against Babelian Towers:

Monday, June 28, 2010

617 Diamond-Cubes Keep Satan Cool

JCU: Mon, Jun 28, 2010 1:34PM
That's right, Jesus Christ does not like diamonds at the beach. They hurt his feet.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Will the real Gatekeeper please stand up - Addendum

It has been brought to the attention of Jesus, Christ, Ultd. that there is floating out in the Scene an ode to Him, JC, as the Dark One. This is False.

The Album, The Caitiff Choir, created by the Metalcore music band It Dies Today, is a tribute to The Unseen One. The Unseen One is a close cousin who is NOT affiliated with the works of JCU.

The confusion may have arisen from mistaken identification of JC's genetic sibling (The Dark One, who is coincidentally the Other Gate Keeper).

JC is the True Gate Keeper and does not, as posed by IDT, bathe in the darkness that exudes from the very bowels of mankind. JC dances in the open and NOT in the shadows. Please review the lyrics of "Freak Gasoline Fight Accident" below to better identify and differentiate The Unseen One from JCU and its affiliations and works.

All hail the unseen one who dances in the shadows.
Hidden from everyone in a veil of joyousness.
Bathing in the darkness exuding from the very bowels of mankind.
With such longanimity had he tolerated the atrocity known as man.

And when the world finally comes to an end,
He'll simply laugh and smile for he would take such comfort,
In knowing that there would be no tomorrow.

He'd take such comfort in knowing we will never see another day.
And for their degeneration,
Mankind will finally know what it means to suffer.
Understand that he is hopeless.
He is bitter, and he is filled with great spite.
From witnessing first hand man's decline,
He is simply hopeless, he is bitter and filled with great spite.


Here's bidding farewell to a loathsome world.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Will the real Gatekeeper please stand up

Jesus is quite busy nowadays, he was last seen here (courtesy of Natalie Dee):